From Yoga Mat to Psychiatrist Couch. Unc and Phew start off discussing their surprisingly identical views of yoga, and end up in intense self psychoanalysis, with a variety of epiphanies along the way.

Show Notes

Working on Catchphrases

• Which is better? The Worst Podcast You’ve Never Listed to, or The Worst Podcast You’ve Ever Listened To?
• In keeping with our obligation to our listener (singular), we’ve taken our preparation to a new loan
• Like a CNN journalist accompanying an FBI raid
• Low quality output you’re accustomed to

Spiritual Disjunct with Yoga

• Unc has done over 600 yoga classes in the last three years
• In September of 2019, he quit
• Had a spiritual disjunct with yoga
• There is a spiritual element to yoga
• All this other stuff that surrounds it
• There is very specific culture within a yoga studio
• Stereotypical culture for yoga at the yoga studios he’s attended
• Clashes with Unc’s spiritual beliefs

A Call From a Friend

• Friend called and asked Unc this question: How do you reconcile your beliefs with what you encounter at yoga?
• Wanted to get away from the conflict
• Phew: lots of generic crap
• “We’re resonating with the universe”
• Generic, new-age abstraction
• Qi Gong: moving meditation
• Many things are considered moving meditations

Generic Spiritualism

• There is something about inserting a generic spiritualism that leaves a bad taste in your mouth
• Phew is not one with Harvey Weinstein
• Unc has said, out loud in a yoga class, “Shut the fuck up”
• Especially at the end, when instructors tend to just ramble
• Sometimes there is a drippy heaviness in the comments

Fetal Position

• Feels so weird about getting into fetal position
• Unc never gets into fetal position
• Unc and Phew are in total lockstep on this point, which surprises them
• Phew’s partner Gloria is a long-time yoga instructor
• When someone is trying to force a spiritual experience on you, it’s really awkward and uncomfortable

Sensory vs Intuitive

• Myers-Briggs Indicator: 16 different combinations a person can be
• Sensory vs intuitive
• Sensory: needs to read the directions
• Intuitive: just figure things out on their own
• Intuitive people read into things much more than people who are sensory

Bringing this Back to Yoga

• 60% or more are sensory
• They lack the ability to perceive much beyond what’s at face value
• Most social situations are full of S type people
• S types are happy being in a social experience where nothing is happening except maybe drinking and hanging out – to them, that IS the social experience
• They’re just there drinking and high-fiving and hanging out
• They don’t necessarily need a quality conversation or interaction – just being there IS the social experience

The Awkwardness of I Types

• For I types, they need more, and the shallowness of that type of a situation makes them uncomfortable
• So, brining this back to yoga, having an instructor talk about spiritual things IS the spiritual experience for them
• S types don’t necessarily need that spirituality grounded in fact or connected to any generally accepted foundation – just someone saying “We’re all vibrating as one” can actually qualify as a spiritual experience to them
• There is no need for depth or meaning for so many people

Observing a Social Event Comprised of Ss

• The dreaded “assembly of tables” near where Unc was dining last night
• A work thing, it appeared, among manly men, with just one woman in attendance
• They were having a great time, but what they were doing
• There is value in basic social interaction, but, at a certain point, Unc needs more than small talk
• No depth to any of the conversations
• Eleanor Roosevelt quote: Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.

Small Talk

• Small people talk about other people
• How often people talk about other people
• Everyone knows a Sammy
• People who are genuinely interested in the small
• It’s difficult to be an Intuitive person

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

• Go to 16personalities.com and check it out
• Most of Phew’s life, he’s felt like he doesn’t belong
• He’s in the minority
• Phew is an ENFP, which is THE MOST rare personality type for men
• Suddenly felt absolved of all the things he’s felt throughout his life
• NOW he understands why he never felt like he fit in

Dating is a Nightmare

• Dating is a nightmare for Phew
• Phew is too emotional for most women
• The norm: the woman is emotional, and the man is stoic
• Many woman can’t handle that level of communication from a man, and they misinterpret it
• Unc is basically the same as Phew
• She’s the man in the relationship, and I’m the woman
• Would you please just shut the fuck up
• Unc never feels like a part of anything
• Increasing exponentially over time

Unc Has No Friends

• What it was like in my earliest memory
• My entire social universe existed on one street
• At age 5 or 6, had an established social network
• Unc had more friends at age 6 than he does today
• Has just two or three friends today
• Going back through communications, they are almost entirely professional in nature
• Almost nothing of a personal nature

William Beteet III

• Phew talked his friend, William Beteet III, into moving to the south of France
• Then moving to Paris
• A British citizen, half Indian, half black, born in Indonesia, raised in Hong Kong, went to school in Texas
• Designed a high level course on Frame Control
• If you don’t have a specific reason for living in NYC, you shouldn’t
• Language allows you to navigate life
• Without language, you have to rely on other things to navigate life
• Forces you to use parts of your brain that you typically don’t use

• You become a different person
• Actions become identity
• You perform different actions, so you become a different person
• You’re just a different you
• If he went back to London, he’d be the same person
• If he went to France, he’d become a different person
• William being gone has made Phew realize how few friends he really has
• You’re forced to confront thoughts you can normally escape when your time is taken up with normal everyday socializing
• You have to sit and confront your own thoughts

Introspective vs Not Introspective

• Unc thinks he is introspective to the point of it being a negative
• Most people are not very introspective
• Large percentage that is not introspective at all, EVER
• People who cannot handle any form of criticism whatsoever
• Know Thyself

Phew wrote the Power Bible

• First thing in the book: having power starts with having power over yourself first
• And knowing yourself is the only way that process can begin
• What got you here won’t get you there
• People who are super successful have that trait: they can take feedback and make no judgments about it
• Willing and flexible in terms of accepting and incorporating that feedback into their lives

A Real Life Example

• Unc started a business with Stefan Swanepoel
• Never met anyone like him
• Whatever he touches turns to gold
• Leading speaker, author and trends analyst in real estate in the world
• One of Stefan’s greatest qualities: never talks about himself
• He never tells anyone about his credentials
• He has no need to impress anyone
• He will listen to ANYONE, credentialed or otherwise
• In every context, he acts the same
• He listens to everyone
• Very basic skills that are not difficult
• Thinks Gary V is probably one of those people

Controlling the Downside of Emotion-Driven Behavior

• The degree to which emotions control people
• Never reply to an email in anger
• Unc: never reply to an email that angers you until the next day
• Phew: assess strategic things in the most dispassionate manner possible
• The book Finite and Infinite Games: If you have to play, you cannot play

Dealing with Issues

• People at the highest echelon don’t put guns to people’s heads
• Phew not sure if he’s bipolar or not, but it runs in the family
• Unc is both a workoutaholic and an alcoholic
• Phew practices dry January

Batten Down the Hatches

• Phew has episodes of depression that feels like a storm
• Like a fog that rolls in
• Was at a prayer group years ago describing that
• Pastor: if it’s a storm, just get in the basement and wait until it passes
• Now, Phew does nothing – just battens down the hatches and waits for the storm to pass
• Phew does less damage if he just lays low, as opposed to taking any action
• This too shall pass
• Today is not my day
• Avoid being destructive; stop the bleeding
• The first step to being good: avoid being bad

Success ideas

• Madonna: not the most talented performer
• Woody Allen: 90% of success is just showing up
• She just showed up and did the work
• Just do the thing
• Joe Rogan’s podcast: a big part of his success is him just showing up and doing it
• He IS great, but him showing up is a big part of that success
• Baby picture of Phew

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